MB2K13 – The year of the 50th round.
In the most competitive MB2K championship to date, Neil Schoenberg erased a 5 shot deficit on the final day and conquered difficult winds and ridiculously speedy greens at Grande Dunes to leapfrog 4 players and win his 2nd straight MB2K. He becomes the first person post-expansion to repeat at MB2K, the first person to 4 career wins and most importantly the first person with a kid to win the tournament.
With his win, the current MB2K standings are as follows:
4 wins – Neil Schoenberg
3 wins – Greg Picarello
2 wins –Robert Smith the III
1 win – Chris Grove, Mike Riba, Peter Vinch, Matt Martinez
Final scores will be posted on MB2K.com, however for our records, with handicap adjustments, they ended as:
Seventh place – Mike Riba – 357
Sixth place – Jon Riba – 355
Fifth place – Bob Smith – 351
Fourth place – Greg Picarello – 346
Third place – Matt Martinez – 341
Second place – Peter Vinch – 340
1st place – Neil Schoenberg – 338
Now onto the ramblings:
The Top 10 Quotes/Sayings/Objects/Foods of MB2K13:
HM. Condo sign – ‘No diving off the balcony’. Into the pool. That’s probably the right call.
10. Jeff Saturday – On Neil’s plane from Hartford to Charlotte, our official celebrity athlete sighting of MB2K13 joining illustrious former winners such as Fred Funk, Emeka Okafor and Duce Staley.
9. Starbucks refreshers – By can or powder, the official refreshment of MB2K13 and a Mike Riba favorite. There was a sad moment when Neil drove off from the drive thru without his, but managed to get it back since the other car was behind us. Although at first Bob wouldn’t give it back. Dammit Bob!
8. Papa Johns – Wide-eyed Papa John’s order resulting in lots of leftovers highlighted by buffalo chicken pizza being pretty unspectacular. Dammit Papa J’s!
7. Grande Dunes Cart girl – another poor year of cart girls, highlighted by the Thistle cart girl who only showed up on the 1st and 9th holes of each 9 and then looked surprised when we didn’t want anything. However, the Grande Dunes cart girl was at least attractive, and not 65 (age) or 265 (weight). So there’s that. Good job Grande Dunes!!
6. Baltimore condo guy – He came to put a TV in room 4, but was integral in getting the cable and internet fixed. And his parents were from Western PA and lived by a hill. A nice sized hill.
5. Condo neighbors – “FORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE YOU GUYS.” I’m 100% confident there was some amount of Meth in that house.
4. Food for grown-ups – MB2K12’s trip to Ruth Chris started the trend, but MB2K13 saw 3 more elegant meals; Ruth Chris again, Bonefish Grill and our first trip to Greg Norman’s Australian Grill. Disappointingly for Matt, Greg Norman was not present. MB2K13 grown-up food of the year: Calamari.
3. Chik-fil-A Chick-n-Minis – A surprise entry in the food of the year race, our favorite gay-hating restaurant chain apparently serves a pretty solid breakfast including these little bites of joy which are even better when you dip it in the ‘nesian. The final round Chik-fil-A/Starbucks run was very successful. Congratulations to the MB2K13 food of the year! Bonus joke: What golf course in MB won’t Chik-fil-A Management play at? The answer………..
2. STHSIL – OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, WELCOME TO STHSIL. STHSILLLLL; if you lose your balls you can play with ours. STHSILLLLL; choke down on your shaft and stroke with us. STHSILLLLL; the front gate is closed so come in the back. STHSILLLLL;
1. The Cobbler – America’s breakout star now has his own show. Matt ‘Tino’ Martinez is: The Cobbler, and he’s not making fun of you, he’s just breaking your shoes. Tune in Monday nights at 830 to find out what and who he’s cobbling this week. Only on CBS.
The Top 10 Most Disappointing Moments, Events, Things of MB2KX:
HM. No soup at Caledonia – Apparently, soup isn’t served at Caledonia until October, which makes sense since it’s really hot out, but is also sad. Matt was especially disappointed, and may make a separate trip to Myrtle next month just for soup.
10. Jon’s destruction of #10 green at Thistle – In what is becoming a yearly Riba tradition, Jon 4-putted the 10th hole and promptly smashed his club into the green ripping out a nice chunk right by the hole. STHSILLLLL!
9. MB2K13 driving issues – On night 1, Neil almost ran over a biker while turning into the condo, resulting in some stink-eye and Neil apologizing. On the drive home from Ruth Chris on day 2, Neil decided to turn into the wrong lane, and jumped a medium to get back on the good side of traffic. On day 3 at Thistle, Mike put the cart in reverse to back up and smashed directly into Neil’s cart. Solid efforts all around.
8. Football sadness – The decision to revisit the scramble was partially brought about by the lack of exciting football teams. The combined record of our 5 teams was 2-3 entering week 1 and 3-7 after only the Bills could muster up a win on Sunday, although in spectacular last second fashion. No football resulted in less drunkenness and additionally no strip club for the first MB2K in a while. And when the Sunday Night game was suspended due to lightning, the early bedtimes theme of MB2K12 was replayed once again.
7. Mike calling off Matt’s putt – Round 3 at Caledonia, hole #18, with the first group looking on, Matt Martinez is lining up the par putt and his shot at 81. But WAIT, Mike Riba has called him off, and ladies and gentleman the Cobbler is not pleased with these developments. Expletives are flying! The Cobbler is furious! He lines up the putt again, and…it’s in the hole! Don’t worry Mike, he was just breakin’ your shoes! The Cobbler!
6. Absolute Joy – Ended up not being nearly as bad as we thought after day 1, as the cable/internet catastrophe was fixed by the morning of day 2. We’ve already touched on our neighbors and the backwards layout of the kitchen and TV room on the top floor made for some unnecessary exercise. All in all it wasn’t terrible, but the Tahitian Princess it was not.
5. Bad travels – Runner-up for bad travel experiences goes to Matt for both the A/C crapping out on the drive down and the extended drive back which featured multiple stops and randoms knocking on his car window asking for money. Maybe it was our condo neighbors, FORRRRRRRE! But the winner of bad travel at MB2K13 is without a doubt Jon Riba and his experience with Delta. Not only did they change his Tuesday flight times which caused us to reschedule the final round, but his connecting flight from Philly-Detroit on Friday had issues resulting in him arriving five hours late and not being able to participate in the practice round festivities at the Wizard. To cap off his experience, his flight home from Myrtle was also delayed on the tarmac. F Delta!
4. MB2K13 memorable shots – Unfortunately for us, this year’s list of memorable shots comes to us in the ‘bad’ section as opposed to its normal spot in the ‘good’ section. And the winner is……Bob Smith, and his shank in the scramble that almost netted a backwards distance! Runner up goes to Matt for his Grande Dunes fringe putt that went through the green and into the bunker!
3. Ponytail guy at Heritage Club – After the stink-eye on #4 and at the clubhouse at the turn, the staredown on the tee at #11 was the final straw as Neil verbally assaulted Ponytail guy from the group behind us in the opening round. It didn’t match the steam from our MB2K5 almost-brawl at Kings North, but was still a good show. Matt may or may not have sat next to this guy at a bar the next day as well. F Ponytail guy!
2. MB2K13 poor golf holes – Along with our memorable shots being poor, we also had a bunch of poor holes as well. The round 1 winner was Greg’s 10 on Heritage Club #10 en route to an 84 which could have been better. Round 2 at Thistle featured Neil’s 7 on the par 4 2nd which had 2 chunked water shots before sinking a 40 footer to save triple. During round 3 at Caledonia it was Jon’s turn for a 10 on #8 putting 3 balls in the drink. And last but not least, round 4 featured Mike’s 10 on Grande Dunes #4 which was a blemish is an otherwise fantastic adjusted 87. Sloptastic!
1. Cockroach adventures – Most of us remember the cockroaches of MB2K’s past, especially the ones in Myrtlewood. However it’s been a few years, and as Matt and Jon found out, they can be frisky. On night 1, Matt saw a big guy on the ground on our way to dinner and he almost screeched like a little girl. That night Neil also saw a massive one in the bathroom but gave it a much deserved towel whipping death. However, on the last night, one cockroach in Jon’s room decided to avoid death. As John tried to get it, it jumped down off the wall and onto his bed and pillow. Jon did not want a sleeping buddy, so off to another bedroom he went, startled and worse for wear. Absolute Cockroaches.
And finally, the top 10 moments from MB2K13:
HM. The practice round – Another quality practice round for Neil, Greg and Pete, this time at the Wizard. Jon should have joined us, but as we highlighted Delta was having none of that. Neil shot the low round of 82 with 3 birdies. As always, F the Wizard!
10. Good travels – Hey there Myrtle Beach Airport, welcome to the 21st century! Aside from Jon’s flying and Matt’s driving disasters, the travel to MB2K13 was fairly uneventful, highlighted by the new airport digs at Myrtle Beach. Caribou coffee, don’t mind if I do. It is a sad goodbye for Pizza hut breadsticks though, but I think we’ll manage.
9. Bob’s Green-Chip-Putt-Par – 14th hole, Heritage Club, Bob’s tee shot finds the left side of the green and the pin is on the right. He can’t putt, and doesn’t want to chip on the nice greens, so Greg allows him to place the ball in rough next to the green. A brilliant chip and putt later, and we have the first green-chip-putt-par in Myrtle history.
8. Scores through 3 rounds – Entering the final round at MB2K13, Pete and Matt were tied, leading Greg by 2 strokes, Bob by 4 and Neil by 5, making this the first time that 5 players were within 5 strokes with one round to play.
7. 2nd MB2K scramble – with a bonus 9 holes at STHSIL, Sunday afternoon’s typical football outing was replaced by the 2nd MB2K scramble. MB2K scramble cheaters champions Greg, Mike and Bob took on the challengers Jon, Neil, Tino, Matt and Pete. Team GBM finished at -2, 2 strokes behind team JNTP and their -4, but apparently Team GBM was getting 2 strokes and the result was a tie.
6. Pete’s golf – Pete’s game improved again over the offseason, as he took two less strokes in MB2K13 and still finished in 2nd for the 2nd straight year, 2 strokes back of the eventual champion. Pete used to have the shortest tee game in Myrtle, but now is consistently crushing drives past most of the other players. His non-adjusted rounds of 90 and 86 at Thistle and Caledonia are his best two rounds ever at MB2K. Most importantly, with his back to back 2nd place finishes, he’s only 2 years away from doing a Buffalo Bills! Congrats Pete, we look forward to giving you even less strokes in MB2K14.
5. Caledonia scores – Our favorite golf course gave us our best rounds of MB2K. Low rounds of adjusted 78’s by Pete (86) and Matt (81) propelled them into the lead going into the final round and were both their best rounds in MB2K history. Bob shot 91 (adjusted 79) for his lowest round in MB2K history as well. Neil’s 83, Mike’s adjusted 87, Greg’s 87 and Jon’s 90 rounded out the scoring. Course grades for MB2K13: Heritage Club A-, Thistle B+, Caledonia A+, Grande Dunes A-.
4. First ever Tino Sunday – ‘Who’s that man in the red and white pants, it’s Tino, it’s Tino!’ After the hit song of MB2K12, we decided to have our first Tino crazy dress day in Myrtle, and what better day to do it then our 50th round at Thistle. Obviously Matt took part with some crazy shorts and shirt combination and props to Greg for going with the full outfit in Syracuse colors. Neil wore uncomfortable pajama pants which were removed after 3 holes, Jon wore a bathing suit, and Pete just got nice shorts; but the effort was there.
3. MB2K13 records – The golf was very good at MB2K13 as the scores will attest, but surprisingly there were no records which fell in MB2K13. We did see a lot of 2nd-3rd place finishes though. Out of the 16 tracked MB2K records (8 single round/8 tournament), 9 of them will have top 3 finishes from MB2K13. For single round records, Pete and Matt’s adjusted 78 at Caledonia is the 2nd best round in Myrtle history, Jon’s 12 fairways at Heritage Club is T-2nd, Bob’s 29 putts at Caledonia is T-3rd and Matt’s 2 birdies at Heritage Club is T-2nd. For tournament records, Neil’s score of 338 is 3rd, Greg’s 31 greens are 2nd, Bob’s 128 putts is 3rd, Neil’s 31 pars is 3rd and Greg’s 33 scoring holes is 3rd.
2. Neil’s 4th championship – He didn’t need to wait as long for his 4th as he did for his 3rd, but after shooting an 82 in the practice round he shot 87-83-83-85 to win the first back to back championship post expansion. Beginning next year, the quest begins for ‘1 for the thumb’!
1. The golf – The 13th MB2K starting on the 13th of September in 2013 (thanks Pete) featured 4 rounds with beautiful weather at 4 beautiful golf courses. It was a little hot on Monday, but other than that it was sunny every day and didn’t rain a drop during the rounds. . The competition entering the final round was the best we’ve seen in MB2K and the final scores are the lowest in MB2K history as the 350 range that Bob Jon and Mike scored usually gets you 4th-5th place, not 5th-7th. Great job by everyone this year!
Until MB2K14……….

Neil Schoenberg ended a 9 year winless drought by shooting 4 quality rounds of golf en route to cruising to his third MB2K Championship with a 15 shot victory over Peter Vinch. His 4 round score of 336 ties him for top MB2K honors with the 336 composite score shot by Robert Smith III at MB2K8. This marks the 7th different winner of the tournament over the last 7 years.
With his win, the current MB2K standings are as follows:

3 wins – Greg Picarello, Neil Schoenberg

2 wins –Robert Smith the III

1 win – Chris Grove, Mike Riba, Peter Vinch, Matt Martinez
Final scores will be posted on MB2K.com, However, for our records, with handicap adjustments, they ended as:
Seventh place – Mike Riba – 374

Sixth place – John Riba – 367

Fifth place – Matt Martinez – 362

Fourth place – Robert Smith III – 355.5

Third place – Greg Picarello – 353

Second place – Peter Vinch – 351

First place – Neil Schoenberg – 336

Now onto the ramblings:
The Top 10 Quotes/Sayings/Objects/Foods of MB2KXI:
HM. C.N.’s – yikes. Tino Tourette’s in full bore.
10. The rental car passenger seatbelt beeping – God damn it bob, put your fucking seat belt on!
9. Mike Riba, coffee hero – We all have our roles for MB2K; Greg sets up the logistics, Neil writes the recaps, Bob brings the cranky and Mike Riba does the morning coffee run. Sometimes others go with, but it’s always Mike Riba and he’s getting a double cup. There goes my hero, watch him as he goes…….
8. We delivery – On the sign for China Panda restaurant on the way to Oyster Bay.
7. ‘Zip it’ – Bob’s response after Mike Riba tried to console him and provide encouragement after his 10 at Tigers Eye.
6. Pancake houses – Although we have been to Myrtle for more than a decade, we never appreciated just how many pancake houses there were until this year. It also included a few pancake breakfasts for Matt and John.
5. Tino’s theme song – ‘Who’s that man with the red and white pants (It’s Tino, its Tino).
4. MB2K Animals – we had turtles, we had turtles that ate Doritos, we had rabid raccoons, we had interesting squirrels (Tino Tourettes), and we had screeching peacocks. But the MB2K Animal of the year goes to…….the raccoon that dude had on his shoulder on the way back from Oyster Bay. Congratulations. You should eat your owner.
3. Sea Snakes –keeping in theme, we also had sea snakes. Anyway, the reason why I couldn’t find it on IMDB was because it’s actually called Silent Venom. I wonder if they changed the name to protect the identities of all the actors in it, so they could work again. Top show of MB2K12.
2. ‘Show me what you got, what you got Raji’ – best dance move ever. ROGERS!!!!!
1. WHEW! EAGLE!! (fist pump) – We’ll discuss the first MB2K eagle a bit later in top MB2K moments, but the joyous reaction from Jon Riba after sinking his bunker shot on the 7th hole at Tigers Eye will be remembered for just as long. WHEW! EAGLE!! (fist pump) is the Dick Talbot of MB2K12; something good that inevitably through mocking becomes something hilarious.

And now….put your hands together for an old favorite……
The top 5 females of MB2K12:
HM. The Vikings fan at Overtimes – So, so loud. The guy on the microphone at Overtimes said “I know the Vikings game is close, but please no more squealing.”
5. The group picture girl at Tigers Eye – Although she probably hates us after only buying 1 picture (Matt make sure you scan that and get it to us for the site!)
4. Coked out stripper girl – “I grew up here, but like 20 minutes away, on a farm”.
3. Tom Brady waitress at Overtimes – F Tom Brady!
2. Our Steelers waitress at Overtimes – “you guys are weirdos!”
1. The bartender at Oyster Bay – After ordering food, she asked Mike Riba if he wanted not only his chips but one of the other bags of chips as well, to which Mike condescendingly responded “sure, give it to the fat guy”. But it didn’t end there. At the turn, we go in and Mike asks for a Coke, to which she says ‘Diet?’ What the hell, another fat dig and they laugh about it. Until Mike goes outside and realizes, she gave him a diet coke….

The Top 10 Most Disappointing Moments, Events, Things of MB2KX:
HM. Our loud neighbors – They weren’t terrible, but the church group the first night left their preachering on all night and the family on the last night had some movie on extremely loud. My guess is still Jurassic Park.
10. Papa John’s delivery fail – If you order food online from Papa J’s, shouldn’t the website direct you to the closest one and not have 3 different people have to figure it out? Special bonus fail goes to Neil for not knowing we were in North Myrtle Beach.
9. Neil’s bladder – starting at the sports bar Sunday and ending after the final round Tuesday, Neil peed approximately 4,519 times, all over the golf courses.
8. The car slam – As Pete and Neil waited for Greg at the airport on Friday, this group of guys got into a caravan. One of the men slammed the front passenger side door – except that one of his pals still had his hand there. ‘AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH’, said the man whose hand was slammed. His buddy, who by the look on his face thought he was joking, finally opened the door. Fingers were still intact. But it did result in a lot of AHHHHHHHHH’s when we slammed our car doors.
7. Bob’s orange golf balls – Bob bought golf balls the third day but mistakenly got a 12 pack of orange ones. Those would have been perfect for Tino’s Saturday attire.
6. Pete’s Guinness at Ruth Chris – The ‘new’ waiter poured Pete’s wonderful beer in some lame beer glass, and then received a shit ton of shit from Pete, our real waiter, the head waiter, the busboy, the bathroom attendant, our cows we ate, etc. Poor new waiter guy, he was just trying to help.
5. A Myrtle sans debauchery – MB2K used to be a mess; smoking, gambling, drinking, strip clubs, etc. It used to be a place full of mistakes you couldn’t remember the next day. But not MB2K12. There was no smoking (congrats to Bob and Tino), no gambling, drinking was kept to a minimum, and the strip club visit was boring and short. Sadnesses.
4. Golfing too fast – How many times has a ranger yelled at your group for golfing too slow? Well, apparently the world was upside down during the Sunday round at Grande Dunes, as the Ranger informed Bob, Pete and Neil that their group had to slow down. It still wasn’t enough though, as a 15 minute wait after the front 9 ensued. The Ranger still managed to become normal as he told the Sunday foursome that they were too slow and close to being asked to skip a hole. That’s better!
3. Early bedtimes – I know less debauchery means less late nights, but has it really come to this? People were asleep by 930 on Saturday night, Neil and Greg were the last ones up Sunday night but both passed out in the 4th quarter of the football game, and Neil was the only one up for the second half on the MNF game, but passed out for the whole 4th quarter again. Sadnesses.
2. John’s pitching wedge – After 8 holes John Riba was +1. He crushed his drive and had 100 yards left over water for his 2nd shot. And then there were shanks, and lots of them. And they continued throughout the tournament. To John’s credit, he took his troubles with grace, because I know a lot of people (me very much included) who would have thrown that club in a lake or broken it against the cart path at some point. It wasn’t all bad for John’s wedge game though, as we’ll see later on in top moments.
1. Monday’s round at Oyster Bay – It was cold, it eventually rained for a few holes, and boy was it ever slow. There were 5-somes on the course (thankfully behind us) but the 4-somes in front of us were just as slow. We started the round at 1240 and finished at around 6, cold and hungry. Tempers began to flare up as the group behind us on 17 walked up onto the tee box before we finished our shots. Course grades for MB2K12: Tigers Eye B-, Grande Dunes A, Kings North A, Oyster Bay F- (more like a D+, but Pete Vinch says F-!)

Before we finish this up, just a quick discussion about MB2K13 – we are currently investigating the possibility of setting up shop next year in South Myrtle, in order to play some courses down there without having to drive an hour there and back to get there (I’m looking at you Caledonia). There’s an Island Bar and Grill which seems to have football Sundays so I would assume they have the package. And we could make a trek up north to Ruth Chris if we didn’t like any of the “steakhouses” down there. Besides Caledonia, there are a handful of other top rated golf courses in South Myrtle including Pawleys Plantation, Litchfield CC, Willbrook Plantation, River Club at Litchfield, Myrtle TPC, True Blue, Tradition Club, Heritage Club, Blackmoor, Wachesaw Plantation and Wedgefield Plantation. To be determined….

And finally, the top 10 Moments of MB2K12:
HM. 2 drives to MB2K12 – John and Matt drove down from the Northeast and Bob and Mike drove down from the Burgh. Impressive, but this prevented the driving 4 from participating in the practice round held at Wild Wing.
10. Matt’s club trade-in – After buying a club that he didn’t want the day before MB2K12, Matt decided to go to Martin’s and see about replacing it. Not only did they take the club, they paid him full price for it which was only $20 less than he had paid for it in New York. He bought the 2 hybrid he wanted all along and was better for it, but his golf game wasn’t better for it as he chunked the club all weekend, but it was still a win!
9. Football Sunday – It had its moments, but it was impossible to top the magic of last year. In the only battle of two MB2K teams, Pittsburgh used a last second field goal to top Philadelphia by 1 point and sadden the cheers and spelling of the bar’s eagles fandom and Pete. The NY Giants came back and crushed Cleveland, and the Bills and Titans both got demolished in spectacular fashion. We did have our first (?) college football battle as Syracuse defeated Pitt in a game that John both won and lost.
8. Greg wins the Gambler – With a crushing drive and a solid iron shot, Greg became the first person in MB2K to solve the gambler. A few others came close, but this was the best effort. Greg finished MB2K12 in 3rd place for the 4th time in MB2K history.
7. Saturday nights Ruth Chris dinner – After years of Damon’s and Outback, MB2K was in need of an upgrade. And it was found in the form of steak; wonderful, mouthwatering, steak. And gooey mashed potatoes, and fresh broccoli and asparagus. Amazing, and slightly better than Damon’s.
6. Pete’s Monday and Tuesday rounds – Pete shot 93 and 94 (composite 83 and 84) for his best two rounds in MB2K and to finish up MB2K12 in 2nd place for the first time in MB2K. He also had a chip-in birdie on Monday at Oyster Bay.
5. The many outfits of Matt Martinez – Tino might have failed to repeat at MB2K but he did not fail to impress. His outfits were morning highlights, and even if it’s too cold for American Flag shorts, he’s got the red and white pants to make up for it. I think going forward, we should have Matt Martinez Mondays where we all wear something flashy. Let’s make this happen!
4. MB2K12 Memorable shots –Pete and Bob both had chip-in birdies and Neil’s drive on the first hole at Oyster Bay was memorable, but there were two shots by John Riba which will be remembered for a long time. The almost hole-in-one on #15 at Oyster Bay is officially the second closest hole-in-one in MB2K history, still short of the one rotation miss by Chris Grove on #12 at Kings North in MB2K5. However, the shot of the year was the eagle chip in from the sand on #7 at Tiger’s Eye for the first ever MB2K eagle. Great shot John. WHEW! EAGLE!! (fist pump).
3. MB2K12 records – Out of the 16 tracked MB2K records (8 single round/8 tournament), 10 of them will have top 3 finishes from MB2K12. For single round records, Neil’s 12 fairways at Kings North T-2nd, Greg’s 11 greens at Tiger’s Eye T-2nd, Neil’s 29 putts at King North T-3rd, Greg’s 12 scoring holes at Tiger’s Eye T-2nd and John’s eagle at Tiger’s Eye is obviously 1st. For tournament records, Neil’s score of 336 is T-1st, Greg’s 27 greens is T-3rd, Greg’s 33 pars is now 1st, Greg’s 35 scoring holes is T-1st and John’s eagle is, again, obviously 1st. Well done gentlemen!
2. Neil’s 3rd championship – It took 9 years, with 3 2nd place finishes, for Neil to finally capture his 3rd career MB2K title, tying Greg for top honors. Coming into this year Neil had 5 rounds of 85 or lower in the 44 career MB2K matches, but added 4 more this year with rounds of 85-84-82-85. Congratulations Neil, not even you can choke away a 15 stroke final round lead.
1. The Golf – Another year, another 4 rounds making MB2K 48 for 48 over the 12 years. The weather cooperated for the most part, although it got a little rainy and cold on Monday and stayed cold for Tuesday. However, there were no downpours like we experienced in MB2K11. Next year, we will play the 50th round in MB2K history which will be pretty impressive.
Until MB2K13……..

MB2KXI – The year of potentially lost scorecards.

Some may call him brash, with his Strong Island accent. Others may call him flamboyant, with his colorful golf outfits.  Others may call him a Jew, just because.  You can all call him Champion.  Matt ‘Tino’ Martinez came back from 4 strokes down entering the final round to claim his first MB2K championship in his rookie year on the tour.  Matt put together 4 consistent rounds of golf in the wettest MB2K to date, shooting his best score of 88 in the final round Tuesday to capture the tournament by 5 strokes over Jon Riba. He becomes the 2nd player in MB2K history to win in his first year, following MB2K6 winner Chris Grove. With his win, the current MB2K standings are as follows:

3 wins – Greg Picarello

2 wins – Neil Schoenberg, Robert Smith the III

1 win – Chris Grove, Mike Riba, Peter Vinch, Matt Martinez


Final scores will be posted on MB2K.com, However, for our records, with handicap adjustments, they ended as:

Seventh place – Mike Riba – 376

Sixth place – Neil Schoenberg – 359

Tied Third place – Peter Vinch – 353

Tied Third place – Greg Picarello – 353

Tied Third place – Robert Smith III – 353

Second place – Jon Riba – 350

First place – Matt Martinez – 345

Now onto the ramblings:

Starting this year, the Top 10 Quotes/Sayings/Objects of MB2K has been expanded to include Food since we are all fat-asses.

The Top 10 Quotes/Sayings/Objects/Foods of MB2KXI:

HM. Firehouse Subs Meatball Sub – A long standing MB2K tradition was skipped in MB2KX, but brought back as the first meal this year after our Friday travels for Bob, Neil, Pic and Mike. 

10. The game room – One of the many perks of the Tahitian Princess, our game room featured a foozball table, pool table, semi-working air hockey table and a Sopranos pinball machine.  Sadly the game room was utilized primarily in night 1, and not much else. 

9. The ripped up $20 – Just one of many “apparently” moments of the Sunday Night Sportsbar/Stripclub.

8.  Rufus – Mike Riba’s real name.

7. Crazy Horse aka Crazy Whores – You learn something new every day.  ‘Let’s go down to the stripclub and see some crazy whores’.

6. Monday Night Papa John’s feast – 4 large pizzas and 4 cheesy breads. It wasn’t MB2K9 Sticky Fingaz but it was close.  Go big papa!

5. F- – The closest thing to a saying this year was Pete’s inspiring effort to place F- into our vocabulary.  I did find myself saying it every so often, as there are immense fails each year in MB2K.  Our sayings at Myrtle this year deserved, you guessed it, an F-.

4. $35 golf shoes – Mike wins best purchase of MB2K11!

3. $3 cab ride – The polar opposite of last year’s cab ride home with the bridge incident – The 233% tip trumps our tip from Overtimes last year for Kathie Lee of approximately 50%.

2.  Chik-Fil-A – The official sponsor of MB2K11 – It began with Matt being unaware of the wonderfulness that is Chik-Fil-A. It followed with a tense breakfast for Pete as Rufus felt slighted for not being asked if he wanted anything, but not slighted enough to call Pete and ask him to bring him back something.  And if finished with lunch on Tuesday for the late four-some as bets were made over sauce drinking.  Unfortunately, Bob’s favorite kind of sauce isn’t offered at Chik-Fil-A, but it might be offered at Dude-Fil-bobA. 

1. The Beach! It took 11 years, but we finally made it to the beach. Bob, Pic, Mike and Pete finally took their romantic stroll on the beach during the Sportsbar/Stripclub intermission.  Apparently Bob made a beachfoam hat.

The Top 10 Most Disappointing Moments, Events, Things of MB2KX:

HM. The lost scorecards – This is still not a definite, but it’s a possibility that the scorecards from the first two days of MB2K11 were misplaced. NO STATS?? NO!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

10. Our Outback waiter – Hey ya’ll. Listen ya’ll. Our Outback waiter has 3 kids, and he needs our additional tip on top of 18% that’s on the bill to pay for those kids.  C’mon ya’ll.  His name was probably Gabe (Gay-B).

9.  The annoying Eagles fan at Overtimes – Every time the Eagles did something against the Bills, that dude stared right at Neil and started clapping.  He wasn’t Maclin, but he was close.  Pete, Eagles fandom be damned, was recruited to stomp him if it got out of hand. 

8. MB2K11 Club Tosses – Runner up goes to Neil for his club toss at Prestwick where he chunked his iron shot about 40 yards and proceeded to throw his club approximately the same distance to within 3 feet of his ball.  First place goes to Bob for his Caledonia toss which landed firmly on the cart path, but did not damage his club. Maximum effort for minimum cost – well played sir.

7.  No extra golf – MB2K11 did not feature a practice round or a scramble.  MB2K12 will hopefully feature one of these events with the Matt Martinez family free round at Pine Lakes, The Granddaddy of Myrtle Beach golf. 

6.  The Rivers Edge false start – The starter told us to go to #1 and begin our round. Not only did it start raining, but after Matt and John teed off, the starter returned and told us we had to go back to the clubhouse because maintenance was still working on the hole.  20 minutes later we were allowed to go back to #1, but we had to let a single go off in front of us.  Sloppy job Rivers Edge! More from your course later…

5.  Neil’s flight from Atlanta to Baton Rouge – While all of you (sans driving Matt) were enjoying your flights from Charlotte to your final destination, Neil was stuck for a night in Atlanta as a junction box in Baton Rouge caught fire and damaged the runway lights for the night.  And since Delta sucks balls, he couldn’t even get back his checked bags.  The Tahitian Princess would have been a much better option for the evening. Pete Vinch says, F- for Delta, and F- for junction boxes!!!

4. The sprinklers at the Barefoot Norman course – The threesome of Bob, Neil and Pete played the Norman course so quickly Sunday morning that the timed sprinklers on the holes were still going off while we played them.  The ground wasn’t dry, and the sprinklers soaked a few areas. Plus it rained the next two days.  Sprinklers, Pete Vinch gives you an F-!!

3. MB2K11 Cartgirls – Pete, is there something worse than an F-, because this was just awful this year.  We’ve been trending poorly with cartgirls the last few years, but this year we went 0-3 and Rivers Edge saved us the trouble by not even having one in the pouring rain Tuesday.  This year was so bad that the girls in the restaurants weren’t even attractive.  WTF Myrtle.  Double-u Tee Eff.

2. Sportsbar/Stripclub Blackout 2011 – It wasn’t as eventful as last year’s event, but it still had its moments.  We had ripped up $20’s, $3 cab rides, almost-fights with eagles fans, shirts partially removed, magic markerings, fake names, and other moments that “apparently” happened.  All in all, it was a successful follow-up to last year’s event. 

1. The rain – We’ve had rainy rounds at previous MB2K’s; the Witch in MB2K3 included an hour plus stop at the turn, and one round at Worlds Tour was full of puddles, wetness and casual water.  But nothing was as bad as the last two days of MB2K11.  Showers throughout our rounds at Caledonia and Rivers Edge required all the raingear we had.  Some players without the correct raingear suffered; I’m looking at Bob and his khakis (“my legs are so cold!”). 

and now – The Top 10 Moments of MB2K9:

HM. Dick Talbot – By the end of MB2K11, Dick Talbot was a Pedophilic Grandpa who Greg was having relations with. In actuality, he was a nice old man who joined our threesome as a single.  He did stand a little close to you on the tee, but he was polite and put up with our nonsense.  Just always remember, Greg would do anything for Dick.

10.  Tony Watson – The final round of strange happenings continued after the round was over when Neil went into the pro shop to collect his course golf ball, to find his, Greg and Pete’s High School Principal Mr. Watson working at the pro shop.  I believe this is the first MB2K sighting of someone we knew in Myrtle. It’s a small world after all.

9.  Caledonia – Aside from the rain and the hangovers, the Monday round at Caledonia reminded us of what we had expected all along; Caledonia is one of the best, if not the best, course we play in Myrtle Beach.  It was a long ride from the Tahitian Princess, but all of us agreed it was worth it. Course grades for MB2K11; Caledonia A+, Barefoot Norman B+, Rivers Edge B, Prestwick F-!

8. MB2K11 Memorable shots – Greg’s chip in on the first hole at Prestwick, Bob’s bridge shot at Caledonia, Neil’s 165 yard 5 wood into the wind/rain at the par 3 at River’s Edge. But the shot of MB2K11 belongs to Mike Riba for his cartpath aided chip on 18 at Caledonia that led to a par. 

7. The Tahitian Princess – Special thanks goes to 2-first-name Jim Stephen for the hookup on the new digs.  We can all agree the Tahitian Princess was a major upgrade over the Yacht Room.  We each had our own room for the first time at MB2K, so unfortunately there was only a small amount of snuggling this year. 

6. BPTHNWAM Jon Riba avenges his demons – Jon quietly regrets caving to Matt’s stroke demands, but his effort at this year’s MB2K proved he can play with the big boys.  Jon placed 2nd in this year’s tournament, improving 30 strokes on his score from last year. He will be a favorite at MB2K12.

5. The best rounds of MB2K11 – The low overall round of MB2K11 with strokes was Mike’s 96(80) at Caledonia on Monday.  The low overall round without strokes was Greg’s 81 at Caledonia.  A+ for Caledonia; should it be our new home course??

4.  Matt winning MB2K11 – There was a little controversy over the strokes, but at the end 3 or 4 strokes would have won MB2K11 for Matt as he finished with a 5 stroke victory over Jon. He put together 4 consistent rounds of golf and did not let the weather become a factor in the final 2 rounds.  Congratulations on the win rookie, and we all look forward to you defending your title in MB2K12.

3.  The Golf – What what what???? This is an upset in the making! The Golf has always been a top 2 moment, and the only time it wasn’t #1 was when Greg shattered MB2K records in his MB2K7 victory. But 3rd? What did golf do to deserve this? Well, besides giving us two rainy rounds, the answer is…………………………………………….nothing.  Golf was wonderful as usual, and we are now 44 for 44 in our 11 years of MB2K. But what this year gave us was 2 events that without a doubt deserve to be ranked higher, and which we might not possibly see ever again.


2.  The Search Party a.k.a CSI Myrtle Beach – In a scene reminiscent of “The Missing” with a “Stand by Me” feel, we had search parties, choppers, rescue canines and tons of real North Carolina PO-lice on the 11th hole at Rivers Edge searching for a missing 19 year old boy, a suspected suicide, who lived near the golf course.  Sadly, they did indeed find his body shortly thereafter, and possibly by the 11th green, as while we finished putting, 6 suits ran into the marshy woods adjacent to our carts while the chopper hovered overhead.   The whole scene was surreal; it started with 2 cop cars on the ride from the 10th to the 11th hole, and continued with a small search party approaching us after we reached our drives.  We waited a few times, as to not hit any of the search party with our awful shots and we were approached a few times by individuals who apologized for “interrupting our rounds” to which we replied overly apologetically for interrupting their “real life situation”.  All in all, it was a somber situation, and it resulted in our first MB2K death.  God speed young man, obviously you felt life wasn’t worth living which is extremely sad.  Expected Bob Smith comments began immediately as, in the midst of a par streak, he stated “search parties bring out the best in my game”.  However he was topped on Neil’s Facebook post by a friend who said “wow. Tough course?”.  

1.  MB2K Football Wars – It was the reason why these dates were selected. It was the reason for everything; why we were rained on, the search party timing, the travel issues, etc.  And we wouldn’t change any part of it to replace the Football Wars of MB2K11; Greg’s Tennessee Titans vs. Bob, Mike and Jon’s Pittsburgh Steelers and Pete’s Philadelphia Eagles vs. Neil’s Buffalo Bills.  Dream matchups of all of our teams (sorry Matt), made it an MB2K weekend we could not pass up.  We were slightly scared in July as the lockout seemed possible, but relieved when the sides agreed and we knew this date wouldn’t have been chosen in vain.  The Steelers crushed the Titans, 38-17, as Ben Rapistberger threw for 5 td’s and the Steeler D controlled CJ2K.  The Bills held on to defeat Philly, 31-24, as Fred Jackson ran all over the Eagles shoddy D and the Bills defense intercepted Mike Vick 4 times.   2 matchups which may not occur in the same week again in another MB2K, and for that we salute the NFL scheduling committee with honorary MB2K awards! Thank you kind sirs! We salute you!

Until MB2K12…………

Next Page »