Tue 15 Apr 2014
MB2K13 – The year of the 50th round.
In the most competitive MB2K championship to date, Neil Schoenberg erased a 5 shot deficit on the final day and conquered difficult winds and ridiculously speedy greens at Grande Dunes to leapfrog 4 players and win his 2nd straight MB2K. He becomes the first person post-expansion to repeat at MB2K, the first person to 4 career wins and most importantly the first person with a kid to win the tournament.
With his win, the current MB2K standings are as follows:
4 wins – Neil Schoenberg
3 wins – Greg Picarello
2 wins –Robert Smith the III
1 win – Chris Grove, Mike Riba, Peter Vinch, Matt Martinez
BPTHNWAM – Jon Riba
Final scores will be posted on MB2K.com, however for our records, with handicap adjustments, they ended as:
Seventh place – Mike Riba – 357
Sixth place – Jon Riba – 355
Fifth place – Bob Smith – 351
Fourth place – Greg Picarello – 346
Third place – Matt Martinez – 341
Second place – Peter Vinch – 340
1st place – Neil Schoenberg – 338
Now onto the ramblings:
The Top 10 Quotes/Sayings/Objects/Foods of MB2K13:
HM. Condo sign – ‘No diving off the balcony’. Into the pool. That’s probably the right call.
10. Jeff Saturday – On Neil’s plane from Hartford to Charlotte, our official celebrity athlete sighting of MB2K13 joining illustrious former winners such as Fred Funk, Emeka Okafor and Duce Staley.
9. Starbucks refreshers – By can or powder, the official refreshment of MB2K13 and a Mike Riba favorite. There was a sad moment when Neil drove off from the drive thru without his, but managed to get it back since the other car was behind us. Although at first Bob wouldn’t give it back. Dammit Bob!
8. Papa Johns – Wide-eyed Papa John’s order resulting in lots of leftovers highlighted by buffalo chicken pizza being pretty unspectacular. Dammit Papa J’s!
7. Grande Dunes Cart girl – another poor year of cart girls, highlighted by the Thistle cart girl who only showed up on the 1st and 9th holes of each 9 and then looked surprised when we didn’t want anything. However, the Grande Dunes cart girl was at least attractive, and not 65 (age) or 265 (weight). So there’s that. Good job Grande Dunes!!
6. Baltimore condo guy – He came to put a TV in room 4, but was integral in getting the cable and internet fixed. And his parents were from Western PA and lived by a hill. A nice sized hill.
5. Condo neighbors – “FORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE YOU GUYS.” I’m 100% confident there was some amount of Meth in that house.
4. Food for grown-ups – MB2K12’s trip to Ruth Chris started the trend, but MB2K13 saw 3 more elegant meals; Ruth Chris again, Bonefish Grill and our first trip to Greg Norman’s Australian Grill. Disappointingly for Matt, Greg Norman was not present. MB2K13 grown-up food of the year: Calamari.
3. Chik-fil-A Chick-n-Minis – A surprise entry in the food of the year race, our favorite gay-hating restaurant chain apparently serves a pretty solid breakfast including these little bites of joy which are even better when you dip it in the ‘nesian. The final round Chik-fil-A/Starbucks run was very successful. Congratulations to the MB2K13 food of the year! Bonus joke: What golf course in MB won’t Chik-fil-A Management play at? The answer………..
2. STHSIL – OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, WELCOME TO STHSIL. STHSILLLLL; if you lose your balls you can play with ours. STHSILLLLL; choke down on your shaft and stroke with us. STHSILLLLL; the front gate is closed so come in the back. STHSILLLLL;
1. The Cobbler – America’s breakout star now has his own show. Matt ‘Tino’ Martinez is: The Cobbler, and he’s not making fun of you, he’s just breaking your shoes. Tune in Monday nights at 830 to find out what and who he’s cobbling this week. Only on CBS.
The Top 10 Most Disappointing Moments, Events, Things of MB2KX:
HM. No soup at Caledonia – Apparently, soup isn’t served at Caledonia until October, which makes sense since it’s really hot out, but is also sad. Matt was especially disappointed, and may make a separate trip to Myrtle next month just for soup.
10. Jon’s destruction of #10 green at Thistle – In what is becoming a yearly Riba tradition, Jon 4-putted the 10th hole and promptly smashed his club into the green ripping out a nice chunk right by the hole. STHSILLLLL!
9. MB2K13 driving issues – On night 1, Neil almost ran over a biker while turning into the condo, resulting in some stink-eye and Neil apologizing. On the drive home from Ruth Chris on day 2, Neil decided to turn into the wrong lane, and jumped a medium to get back on the good side of traffic. On day 3 at Thistle, Mike put the cart in reverse to back up and smashed directly into Neil’s cart. Solid efforts all around.
8. Football sadness – The decision to revisit the scramble was partially brought about by the lack of exciting football teams. The combined record of our 5 teams was 2-3 entering week 1 and 3-7 after only the Bills could muster up a win on Sunday, although in spectacular last second fashion. No football resulted in less drunkenness and additionally no strip club for the first MB2K in a while. And when the Sunday Night game was suspended due to lightning, the early bedtimes theme of MB2K12 was replayed once again.
7. Mike calling off Matt’s putt – Round 3 at Caledonia, hole #18, with the first group looking on, Matt Martinez is lining up the par putt and his shot at 81. But WAIT, Mike Riba has called him off, and ladies and gentleman the Cobbler is not pleased with these developments. Expletives are flying! The Cobbler is furious! He lines up the putt again, and…it’s in the hole! Don’t worry Mike, he was just breakin’ your shoes! The Cobbler!
6. Absolute Joy – Ended up not being nearly as bad as we thought after day 1, as the cable/internet catastrophe was fixed by the morning of day 2. We’ve already touched on our neighbors and the backwards layout of the kitchen and TV room on the top floor made for some unnecessary exercise. All in all it wasn’t terrible, but the Tahitian Princess it was not.
5. Bad travels – Runner-up for bad travel experiences goes to Matt for both the A/C crapping out on the drive down and the extended drive back which featured multiple stops and randoms knocking on his car window asking for money. Maybe it was our condo neighbors, FORRRRRRRE! But the winner of bad travel at MB2K13 is without a doubt Jon Riba and his experience with Delta. Not only did they change his Tuesday flight times which caused us to reschedule the final round, but his connecting flight from Philly-Detroit on Friday had issues resulting in him arriving five hours late and not being able to participate in the practice round festivities at the Wizard. To cap off his experience, his flight home from Myrtle was also delayed on the tarmac. F Delta!
4. MB2K13 memorable shots – Unfortunately for us, this year’s list of memorable shots comes to us in the ‘bad’ section as opposed to its normal spot in the ‘good’ section. And the winner is……Bob Smith, and his shank in the scramble that almost netted a backwards distance! Runner up goes to Matt for his Grande Dunes fringe putt that went through the green and into the bunker!
3. Ponytail guy at Heritage Club – After the stink-eye on #4 and at the clubhouse at the turn, the staredown on the tee at #11 was the final straw as Neil verbally assaulted Ponytail guy from the group behind us in the opening round. It didn’t match the steam from our MB2K5 almost-brawl at Kings North, but was still a good show. Matt may or may not have sat next to this guy at a bar the next day as well. F Ponytail guy!
2. MB2K13 poor golf holes – Along with our memorable shots being poor, we also had a bunch of poor holes as well. The round 1 winner was Greg’s 10 on Heritage Club #10 en route to an 84 which could have been better. Round 2 at Thistle featured Neil’s 7 on the par 4 2nd which had 2 chunked water shots before sinking a 40 footer to save triple. During round 3 at Caledonia it was Jon’s turn for a 10 on #8 putting 3 balls in the drink. And last but not least, round 4 featured Mike’s 10 on Grande Dunes #4 which was a blemish is an otherwise fantastic adjusted 87. Sloptastic!
1. Cockroach adventures – Most of us remember the cockroaches of MB2K’s past, especially the ones in Myrtlewood. However it’s been a few years, and as Matt and Jon found out, they can be frisky. On night 1, Matt saw a big guy on the ground on our way to dinner and he almost screeched like a little girl. That night Neil also saw a massive one in the bathroom but gave it a much deserved towel whipping death. However, on the last night, one cockroach in Jon’s room decided to avoid death. As John tried to get it, it jumped down off the wall and onto his bed and pillow. Jon did not want a sleeping buddy, so off to another bedroom he went, startled and worse for wear. Absolute Cockroaches.
And finally, the top 10 moments from MB2K13:
HM. The practice round – Another quality practice round for Neil, Greg and Pete, this time at the Wizard. Jon should have joined us, but as we highlighted Delta was having none of that. Neil shot the low round of 82 with 3 birdies. As always, F the Wizard!
10. Good travels – Hey there Myrtle Beach Airport, welcome to the 21st century! Aside from Jon’s flying and Matt’s driving disasters, the travel to MB2K13 was fairly uneventful, highlighted by the new airport digs at Myrtle Beach. Caribou coffee, don’t mind if I do. It is a sad goodbye for Pizza hut breadsticks though, but I think we’ll manage.
9. Bob’s Green-Chip-Putt-Par – 14th hole, Heritage Club, Bob’s tee shot finds the left side of the green and the pin is on the right. He can’t putt, and doesn’t want to chip on the nice greens, so Greg allows him to place the ball in rough next to the green. A brilliant chip and putt later, and we have the first green-chip-putt-par in Myrtle history.
8. Scores through 3 rounds – Entering the final round at MB2K13, Pete and Matt were tied, leading Greg by 2 strokes, Bob by 4 and Neil by 5, making this the first time that 5 players were within 5 strokes with one round to play.
7. 2nd MB2K scramble – with a bonus 9 holes at STHSIL, Sunday afternoon’s typical football outing was replaced by the 2nd MB2K scramble. MB2K scramble cheaters champions Greg, Mike and Bob took on the challengers Jon, Neil, Tino, Matt and Pete. Team GBM finished at -2, 2 strokes behind team JNTP and their -4, but apparently Team GBM was getting 2 strokes and the result was a tie.
6. Pete’s golf – Pete’s game improved again over the offseason, as he took two less strokes in MB2K13 and still finished in 2nd for the 2nd straight year, 2 strokes back of the eventual champion. Pete used to have the shortest tee game in Myrtle, but now is consistently crushing drives past most of the other players. His non-adjusted rounds of 90 and 86 at Thistle and Caledonia are his best two rounds ever at MB2K. Most importantly, with his back to back 2nd place finishes, he’s only 2 years away from doing a Buffalo Bills! Congrats Pete, we look forward to giving you even less strokes in MB2K14.
5. Caledonia scores – Our favorite golf course gave us our best rounds of MB2K. Low rounds of adjusted 78’s by Pete (86) and Matt (81) propelled them into the lead going into the final round and were both their best rounds in MB2K history. Bob shot 91 (adjusted 79) for his lowest round in MB2K history as well. Neil’s 83, Mike’s adjusted 87, Greg’s 87 and Jon’s 90 rounded out the scoring. Course grades for MB2K13: Heritage Club A-, Thistle B+, Caledonia A+, Grande Dunes A-.
4. First ever Tino Sunday – ‘Who’s that man in the red and white pants, it’s Tino, it’s Tino!’ After the hit song of MB2K12, we decided to have our first Tino crazy dress day in Myrtle, and what better day to do it then our 50th round at Thistle. Obviously Matt took part with some crazy shorts and shirt combination and props to Greg for going with the full outfit in Syracuse colors. Neil wore uncomfortable pajama pants which were removed after 3 holes, Jon wore a bathing suit, and Pete just got nice shorts; but the effort was there.
3. MB2K13 records – The golf was very good at MB2K13 as the scores will attest, but surprisingly there were no records which fell in MB2K13. We did see a lot of 2nd-3rd place finishes though. Out of the 16 tracked MB2K records (8 single round/8 tournament), 9 of them will have top 3 finishes from MB2K13. For single round records, Pete and Matt’s adjusted 78 at Caledonia is the 2nd best round in Myrtle history, Jon’s 12 fairways at Heritage Club is T-2nd, Bob’s 29 putts at Caledonia is T-3rd and Matt’s 2 birdies at Heritage Club is T-2nd. For tournament records, Neil’s score of 338 is 3rd, Greg’s 31 greens are 2nd, Bob’s 128 putts is 3rd, Neil’s 31 pars is 3rd and Greg’s 33 scoring holes is 3rd.
2. Neil’s 4th championship – He didn’t need to wait as long for his 4th as he did for his 3rd, but after shooting an 82 in the practice round he shot 87-83-83-85 to win the first back to back championship post expansion. Beginning next year, the quest begins for ‘1 for the thumb’!
1. The golf – The 13th MB2K starting on the 13th of September in 2013 (thanks Pete) featured 4 rounds with beautiful weather at 4 beautiful golf courses. It was a little hot on Monday, but other than that it was sunny every day and didn’t rain a drop during the rounds. . The competition entering the final round was the best we’ve seen in MB2K and the final scores are the lowest in MB2K history as the 350 range that Bob Jon and Mike scored usually gets you 4th-5th place, not 5th-7th. Great job by everyone this year!