Last year, Mike Riba finished up his fifth place finish and talked about leaving the game for good.  This year, Mike Riba talked shit on the 68^th hole.  Riba put together 4 solid rounds of golf, in route to coasting to a nine stroke victory and his first MB2K title.   Riba’s victory was a result of the separation he attained in Monday’s third round, by shooting 7 strokes better then the field on Monday’s round at Pawley’s Plantation, clearly the toughest course played in this years open.  With his victory, the current MB2K standings are as follows:

3 wins - Greg Picarello

2 wins - Neil Schoenberg, Robert Smith the III

1 win - Chris Grove, Mike Riba

Best player to have never won a major - Pete Vinch

Final Scores will be posted on MB2K.com. However, for our records, with handicap adjustments, ended as:

Sixth place - Greg Picarello - 388

Fifth place - Peter Vinch - 379

Fourth place - Chris Grove - 361

Third place - Robert Smith the III - 360

Second place - Neil Schoenberg - 348

First place - Mike Riba - 339

Now onto the ramblings:

The Top 10 Quotes/Sayings/Objects of MB2K9:

HM.  The super rain storm of death - Magically, there was no rain during the rounds, but the drive for the L’ville crew from the Wizard to the condo was interrupted by a monsoon and some Oregon Trail type barging.

10. “Donnell.  Mine bags on A!” - Greg and Neil heard this grammatical gem in the Philly airport while picking up the checked baggage.

9. The end of MB2K poker - With the decline in poker playing amongst the group, the poker chips went unused in MB2K9.  The end of an era; maybe next year we’ll play some canasta!

8. Emeka Okafor sighting - The official celebrity sighting of MB2K9 occurred at the Charlotte airport, joining such celebs as Duce Staley and Fred Funk.

7. The Outback Sam Adams Glass - Thievery!

6. Super Bilo - The upgrade from Bilo to Super Bilo is summed up in this text: Beer oj chips Gatorade fruit donuts cakes jerky tums…..180 bucks.

5. Mini-Games - Mini-games didn’t catch on in its first year, but Mike Riba was the big winner with 3 victories.

4. “Get the hell out of here” - Bob’s response to the elevator tweakers who kept talking about our Sticky Fingaz take out order.

3. F.U. Fridays - ROCK 107.1 ON YOUR FM DIAL. MAD MAX F.U. FRIDAYS!!!! WE’RE SO EDGY, MAN!!!!!  A station so hard, they play Bon Jovi followed by Def Leppard’s “Armageddon it” (a song which ironically Pete had never heard before).

2. Rehab - The official TV show of MB2K9 - Live from the cheesiest place on earth, the Vegas Hard Rock Hotel pool. Deebo, douches and debauchery!!

1. Indoor Chipping - For the second straight year, a plastic golf ball game claims the top prize.  Big shots out to Neil for hitting 3 of his first 4 attempts, and Greg for hitting the target on the fridge and leaving prizes for the cleaning people behind it.

The Top Females of MB2K9:

HM. Barbie Chestnut - We didn’t meet her, but she was on our mind the whole trip. Thanks Barbie!

5. Stacia - L’ville’s own, who Neil and Pete saw at the Charlotte airport and whose name took us 8 hours to remember.

4. Our server at Overtimes - friendly!

3. 2 girls on our flight home from Myrtle to Charlotte - classy!

2. Lady in the van who asked for $4-5 for gas so she could pick up her daughter - druggie!

1. The cart girl from the Fazio course - FINALLY! It’s only been about 3 years since we had a cart girl under the age of 65.  The one at the Wizard wasn’t bad either, but this one was the best.  Hooray!

The Top 10 Most Disappointing Moments, Events, Things of MB2K9:

HM.  R.I.P dead bird - “You finally got a birdie” - Boooooooooooooo!

10. Bad golf shots - There were plenty this year. Just from round 3 at Pawley’s Plantation you have Neil’s duff/duff/shank on 1, Pete’s 2 in the water on 6, Grove’s “Mickleson” from bunker to bunker, Riba’s almost miss on 13’s island green, etc, etc…….

9. Myrtle injuries - Pete’s shoulder, Greg’s leg; this years winner is Neil’s eye.

8. Dunes Club rules - We know Dunes Club is semi-private, but “our members will call us if you do anything we don’t like” is a little much. Thanks Nazi golf course.  Fun fact - Neil doesn’t wear a belt while golfing anymore, and that’s always fun when you have to tuck your shirt in.

7. Vagina moments - The Pete Vinch bar tap-out, medium coffee, tons of leftover beer; but this years winner is the 6-burgh crew for not one, but two pre-10PM bedtimes. You would think those large, manly coffees would keep them caffeinated.

6. GheyB - So out of all the female servers at the Outback, we get stuck with a guy named GheyB. We should have introduced him to “press 7″ guy, they might have hit it off.

5. Greg’s golf - Pic will be the first to admit that the swing was broken.  3 rounds over 100 from the MB2K 3-time champion.  Sloptastic!

4. Food! - Donuts for breakfast, hot dogs or McDonalds for lunch, Sticky Fingaz or Outback for dinner. MB2KXV’s injury report is going to include some clogged arteries.  Sloptastic!

3. 9’s and 10’s - The scorecards aren’t around to prove it, but there were a lot more 9’s (10) and 10’s (2) then could be remembered from recent years. Sloptastic!

2. The Putting - There were a lot of lowlights with the flat-stick this year: four 4-putts (Grove, Riba, Bob 2) with Grove needing to hit a 5 footer to avoid back-to-back ones, Greg 3-putting 3 consecutive holes after hitting the green; but the winner was Bob and his phenomenal 44 putts at Pawley’s!

1. The Round at Pawley’s Plantation - The aftereffects on Sunday’s debauchery must have left a mark.  The ride down took forever, the snack bar/cart girl closed at 3, 30mph blustery gusts of wind which felt at us on almost every hole; it all didn’t work in our favor.  If it wasn’t your worst round of the tournament (Neil, Grove, Bob), it was you’re your second-worst.  Our group went 1-54 on GIR’s on the back 9, and that one was because Neil’s drive ricocheted off of a tree into the middle of the fairway.  Collectively, not our best effort.

Before we get to the final section just a few extra items:

Next year is MB2KX - start thinking back to Myrtles past to come up with your favorite courses, and Riba, think of where you want the Champion’s pick to be.

Thanks to Greg, photos from this years open can be found at:

http://www.mb2k.com/photos/album/72157622366163051/mb2k9.html

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=113743&id=635883387&l=dfec261440

and now - The Top 10 Moments of MB2K9:

HM. Grove’s drive on 18 at Dunes Club - Shits and giggles 2^nd ball - Swing, ball hits ground, ball pops in air, ball caught by Grove, Re-teed. Wish we had video.

10. MB2K9 golf achievements - No records were set in MB2K9 but we had a few top 3 finishes.  Mike’s 339 adjusted score in the 2^nd lowest in MB2K history, while Neil’s 348 score is the 3^rd lowest score.  Neil’s 25 total pars were good for 3^rd on the tournament list, while Greg and Neil’s 9 greens at the Fazio course are good for T-3^rd on the individual round list.  Also, props to Bob for leading the tournament in both fairways categories, 25 total and 9 at Pawley’s.

9. Chris Grove and the Mystery of the Missing Golf Balls - Of course, they end up being in the only place he didn’t look, the other car; and of course, they were found after golf was finished.  Now the only mystery that remains is if he punched himself in the face like he said he was going to?

8. The Practice Round - Never in MB2K history had such a vigilant line been placed in the sand between the L’ville and 6-Burgh crews.  L’ville had early flights into Myrtle so decided to play the Wizard instead of doing nothing all afternoon. 6-Burgh called shenanigans.  Cheater comments were spewed, cry-baby Kanye West email attachments were sent. In the end, the round neither helped nor hurt anyone and will be remembered for Neil’s 18^th hole where he needed a par for 79 and lost his drive and second shot in the drink.

7. The Yacht Club Room 12004A-D - How about the new digs!  Barbie Chestnut overtook Jim Paisley as our favorite travel agent as she hooked us up with a fancy condominium overlooking the scenic inter-coastal waterway and with a slight view of the Ocean.  No cockroaches, semi-comfortable beds, 4 showers, and a separate room for the Grove death-snore equaled a quality time spent by all at the new location.

6. Football mayhem - The Titans, Bills and Steelers all took an L on Sunday, resulting in angry, drunk, 6-burghers yelling at other patrons and making fun of the poor fat toothless bills fan.  This would prove to be the winner of the MB2K “Hatorade” moment, which occurred when the Steelers lost and the whole bar started clapping.

5. A Better, Smarter MB2K - The decision last year to move Myrtle to a Sat PM/Sun AM/Mon PM/Tue AM format was a complete success.  Accompanied by the condo move, and the group flight arrival times, MB2K9 was the easiest and most thought out tournament to date.  The only exception was the Monday morning drive to Pawley’s which will rethink our desire to go back to Caledonia in MB2KX.

4. Sticky Fingaz - “The Order”.

3. Round 2 at the Barefoot Fazio Course - The antithesis of the round at Pawley’s Plantation. All 6 players shot adjusted rounds in the 80’s (Bob 82, Neil 82, Greg 83, Grove 85, Pete 88, Riba 88) for the first time in MB2K history. Our first run at a Barefoot course was a success, and there are three others still to play.

2. Y.E. Riba - Riba’s road to the championship included his best 2 rounds in MB2K history (100, 102).  While in previous years he would tire after a few rounds, this year Riba seemed to get better as the days progressed.  His unadjusted total of 415 was his lowest by 17 strokes and 43 strokes better than he did last year, once again proving the handicapping system pretty solid for the second consecutive year.  Once again, congratulations to Y.E. Riba on a tourney well played, and be ready next year to defend your crown!

1. The golf - Another solid MB2K played with no disruptions. The magical rain storms predicted by weather.com stayed away, and we even had two sunny days to finish up our trip.  13 of the 24 rounds saw adjusted scores in the 80’s, so for the most part the golf was fairly decent.

Until MB2KX!

Ladies and Gentleman,

When you read this email tomorrow morning, you will officially be 25 days away from the world’s greatest golf tournament: The Ninth Annual Myrtle Beach Open aka MB2K9 aka NAMBO! aka the one before double digits.

The summer of ot9 has seen memorable golf. It started with Eagle Rock at the Vinch wedding, rubbed its balls in some of our faces at Torrey Pines, gave us the redneck half of the Grover Slam in West Virginia, and culminated in the burgh this past weekend with some hilly golf and rainy hilly golf.

As we arrive at MB2K9 we have reached a turning point in our time honored tradition.  Gone are the late night bar adventures; gone are the nights which don’t affect our morns; gone are the wizards, firehouse subs and cockroaches; bring on man o’war, sticky fingaz and barefoot resorts.  Say goodbye to friday and saturday nights and say hello to sunday afternoon and monday night. But one thing remains the same, and we all know what that is.

Handicaps:

Math is our friend. Excel, our confidant: BEHOLD! the handicaps for MB2K9:

This years handicaps come from a calculation of 3 factors:

1. Your strokes from MB2K8
2. Your strokes from the 2009 Grover Invitational 3. Your handicaps on MB2K.com - 14 strokes (Greg and Neils handicap)

(The stroke system for MB2K is an inexact science.  At the end of the day, we are trying to give everyone a fair shake in the title. If anyone feels this is inaccurate, feel free to let me know and we can retry this).

Pic - 0 strokes
Neil - 0 strokes
Grove - 10 strokes (1. 10; 2. 12; 3. 7; total 29/3) Bob - 12 strokes (1. 14; 2. 10; 3. 11; total 35/3) Pete - 15 strokes (1. 17; 2. 14; 3. 15; total 46/3) Riba - 19 strokes (1. 19; 2. 16; 3. 23; total 58/3)

Odds:

Mike “Y.E.” Riba - 19 strokes - I believe a par par bogey finish on Thursday at Quicksilver has Y.E. feeling a little confident heading to MB2K9.  A new job also has Y.E. stronger than ever and ready for 4 rounds of golf.  He also officially has the greatest nickname is MB2K history. Odds - 10/1

2 time and Current MB2K Champion Robert Smith “the III” - 12 strokes - The anti-Y.E. started off par par on thursday only to finish up sloppily. The III played a lot of golf early in the season, but hasnt been playing much of late as he finally did what we all suspected and became a homo(ner). So here’s the question - Does the defending champion has 4 rounds of golf in him? Odds 8/1

Pete “NMD” Vinch - 15 strokes - What does NMD stand for? No More Distractions. Now that NMD is married, there’s nothing going to stand in his way of losing the BPTHNWAM tag.  According to Vinch, we’ve had some rounds in the 90’s recently.  If we get some MB2K rounds in the 90’s we could see the tag lifted.  Odds - 8/1

2 time MB2K Champion Neil “Schoey/Tit/Jew” Schoenberg - 0 strokes - Schoey decided Pic wasn’t the only one who could play a lot of summer golf.  8 rounds in May, 12 rounds in august, some added iron length, a 79 and a few low 80’s later and someone feels a little confident going into MB2K9, someone who hasnt been relevant at a MB2K in 6 yrs.  It all comes down to the tee game - keep it in play. Odds - 6/1

3 time MB2K Champion Greg “Pic” Picarello - Pic has played a lot of summer golf again as well. Some days the swing is broken, other days he’s flirting with 70’s.  The fact remains, no one is more consistent in MB2K than Pic. 2 70’s last yr, and an 82,82,81 stretch earlier this year proves that fact.  Smart money. Odds - 5/1

MB2K Champion Raymond “Chris” Grove - 10 strokes - Grover Slam 09, you heard it hear 2nd. Even though he hasnt golfed much this yr due to baby abey, i saw something on Friday that could result in some low scores.  All he needs to due is harness the new gut strength added to his irons (i know the feeling) and we could see Grover Slam 09 become reality.  Or he could shoot 4 rounds in the 100’s and pretend its a Grover Inv and finish dead ass last. Odds - 4/1

25 days bitches……

Ladies,

Welcome to the Ninth Annual Myrtle Beach Open, officially known for this year as NAMBO!  I am your official NAMBO! historian/documenter, two time MB2K champion Neil Schoenberg.

We are welcoming back the same 6 participants we have had since ‘06, including Robert Smith III, MB2K8 champion (2nd championship).

Golf over the past year has included the 3rd annual Grover Invitational, coincidentally won by none other than Chris Grove, who posted two sub-100 rounds after playing 1 round of golf in the new year, and after back to back last place Grover Inv finishes.

A lot of other events have taken place since MB2K8. Lets discuss:

- Greg Picarello got married and moved out of his folks house.  About time; somewhere Joe Picarello is sitting with a cigar in hand thanking lord jebus he doesnt have to deal with his middle aged son living at home anymore. Praised be Jesus!

- Chris Grove moved back to the burgh and more importantly, had a little jewish baby named Abraham. Mazel Tov!

- Pete Vinch used some FBI shit and allowed himself to be fericiously whipped in order to get married. Drugs!

- Neil Schoenberg convinced his girl friend to move in with him, and then promptly asked her for a security deposit and made sure she had sufficient references. L’chiam!

- Mike Riba finally caved and got his girl to move in with him, but still lives farther from pittsburgh then the philly guys so he doesnt hang out when we come to pittsburgh, even though it only happens every so often, and wont happen again til the last weekend in august, where we fully expect mike not only to hang out but to crash at ben or groves so that he can drink, because jess is coming and you should meet her. End Rant!

- Bob “City of Champions” Smith is the same as last year except he’s a little happier because he’s MB2K champion and the stillerz and guinees won. GO ON J-DATE!

With that said, NAMBO! will be scheduled a little differently this year than MB2K’s in the past.  We will fly down on friday, play rounds on Saturday through Tuesday and then fly home tuesday evening. Here’s a look at the courses:

Saturday PM - Man O’War - Instead of having Greg anally rape the wizard, we are going back to an old friend from MB2K1.  Neil’s 94 was the best score of that day.

Sunday AM - Barefoot Resorts, Love Course - New course for NAMBO! Apparently very nice.  Plus Riba looks a little bit like Davis Love so he’s got that going for him.

Monday PM - Pawley’s Plantation - New course for NAMBO! A Nicklaus course, apparently very nice and the MB2K8 Champion pick.  Plus Grove looks a little bit like Jack Nicklaus so he’s got that going for him.

Tuesday AM  - Dunes Club - New course for NAMBO! Robert Trent Jones and a top 100 public course to finish off NAMBO! Plus, eh, i dont know what Robert Trent Jones looks like anyway.

Odds, Strokes and Player recaps will follow in the 75, 50 and 25 updates….till then…flog on bitches!

But Wait:

I leave you with the most important part of NAMBO!

TEN @ nyj 1:00PM

kc  @ PHI 1:00PM

no  @ BUF 4:05PM

PIT @ cin 4:15PM

yuh footy!