3 wins - Greg Picarello
2 wins - Neil Schoenberg, Bob Smith the III
1 win -  Chris Grove
Best Player(s) to have never won a major - Peter
Vinch, Mike Riba

Final Scores will be posted on MB2K.com. However, for our records, with handicap adjustments, I believe they ended as:

Sixth Place - Peter Vinch - 378
Fifth Place - Mike Riba - 374
Fourth Place - Chris Grove - 349
Third Place - Neil Schoenberg - 347
Second Place - Greg Picarello - 343
First Place - Robert Smith the III - 336

Now onto the ramblings:

The top 10 quotes/sayings/objects of MB2K8:

HM. The Final Countdown Card - Was introduced before MB2K8, but its involvement above the fridge was vital for when morale was down. Hopefully someone brought it home.

10. The Breakfast of Champions - 1 part Banana, 1 part Chocolate Donut, 1 part Starbucks Coffee, 1 part Tums

9.  The Collision at the Collesium (OSU vs USC) - Another failed ploy by ESPN to make an early season college football game bigger then it needs to be.

8.  Riba’s True Love - Outback….and his order doesn’t require a menu.

7.  The Motivational Posters - Slavery (it gets shit done), Water balloon toss (its just that intense), Sometimes (you wanna just break the law), Courage (iron my shirt bitch) and Holy Shit (is that a grizzly bear)……..1 more to come…

6.  The Pass - Grove’s car led home from Bilo, but was passed by Neil’s car on the inside at the entrance to the condo. Neil’s car +1.

6.B The Pass 2 - Neil’s car leads to the airport from Sticky Fingaz but goes the wrong way out of the parking lot, makes and illegal U and watches Grove’s car head towards the same light. As Neil’s car waits to make a left onto airport road, Grove’s car drives past, middle fingers and all. Grove’s car +1.

5. Hi Dave, I love your show - The official show of MB2K made another late night appearance, highlighted by all time favorites Black Bush, Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch and Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Story of Rick James (we gave him some help).

4. New Bilo staples - Cinnamon buns, beef jerky, pretzel sandwiches and of course, tums.

3. Bear Grylls Swolen Face - Allergic moron + hunger + honey + african bees + not wrapping your forehead with your shirt = X-files looking face 

2. Mooseknuckle - Because camel toe has an ugly sister.  And we saw it live at Outback.

1. Glass pong - The official game of MB2K8 - involved plastic wiffle golf balls and the hole in the patio table from the umbrella. 4 players take turns with 2 balls. Hours of fun for everyone. Riba was the first to 5, Neil was the first to double figures and Grove had the best run with 5 made in a 5 minute span. 

The top girls of MB2K8:

5. The Woman on the Philly-Charlotte flight - Large, hairy and coughing up a lung to boot. We were all hoping to sit next to her.

4.  The Par-3 ladies at Trueblue/Caledonia - A pair of knockouts (for George Burns)

3. The Cartgirls - Didn’t the cartgirls in Myrtle used to be girls, and not 30-40 yr old Myrtle Beach natives. Just because we are in our 30’s doesnt mean they all have to be also. ugh.

2. Our waitress at Outback - She paid more attention to the older guys at the other table, but at least she talked to us (even though she had to). The closest thing to a stripper we encountered.

1. The Cartgirl at the Legends - Riba talked to her about football for 10 minutes, and we didn’t buy anything from her. Very nice, cute girl. Sadly, this is the best it got in MB2K8.

The Top 10 Most Disappointing Moments, Events, Things of MB2K8:

HM. Riba Talking about Quitting - Don’t do it Riba!

10. Pic Puking - The 2nd puke in MB2K history, resulted from a mix of pizza and cigars. We are still awaiting the first MB2K puke resulting from drinking.

9.  Neil’s 11 (10) - Par 4 13th at Caledonia - Tee shot to 1st bunker, to Waste Bunker, to 2nd bunker, over green to 3rd bunker, still in 3rd bunker, still in 3rd bunker, still in 3rd bunker, out of 3rd bunker, chip, missed putt. lame.

8.  Grove’s PW’s - For the 2nd straight year, Grove snaps a club. PW’s throughout the world weep, and hope to not be purchased by a man named Raymond who is not Floyd (fuck him and his par 5’s).

7.  True Blue - For all the great things we heard and read about this course, they all failed to say how ridiculously hard the course is. Add in a half hour wait, slow play, and extreme heat and humidity; the result is a bad experience.

6.  Pete’s game - What happened Pete? 4 rounds higher than any rounds from the previous 2 yrs.  Or is this all a plan to get more strokes for MB2K9? hmmmmmm. I’m onto you Vinch.

5.  The Cockroaches - All over the patio. All over the front door. All over the walls. Grossness.

4.  The Fridge - It froze everything we wanted to drink, and when we left it still held a case of beer and a case of water. Sloppyness.

3.  The Bars - Booze, Girls, Shots, Strippers, Debauchery - MB2K8 had it all; every round was played with horrible hangovers on no sleep. Oh wait. That was bizzaro MB2K8. The Real MB2K featured one night of drinking and one night of half the guys going to the pool hall.  Crazyness.

2.  No Sunday Football Day - Football sunday is not meant to be spent travelling and watching segments of games on blurry bar tv’s.  As I sit here typing this watching the eagles-dallas MNF game, I realize how much better it would be watching this in Myrtle.

1. The Stupid Airlines - Baggage Fees, $5 to change seats, cancelling flights, 5 hour layovers, losing golf bags, and redirecting flights; US Air annoyed all this yr. 

and now - The top 10 moments of MB2K8:

HM. The Streak Continues (sort of) - Pics unemployment streak ran to 8, if you count him not having a full time job which he had to take vacation days to attend MB2K8 like the rest of us.

10. MB2K8 Shot of the Year - Grove’s shot at 18 at Caledonia - most of us lost balls at Caledonia. Grove’s drive went to the pinestraw 200ish out, and he hit a 5 wood over the water and poop to the green to save par.  Runner-up - Pics chip in on 9 at Arrowhead for birdie which started his back-9 run.

9.  Neil’s 84 - It took 8 yrs, but he finally broke 85 at the Legends Moorland Course. See what happens when you keep drives in play. 3rd lowest round of MB2K8.

8.  Poker 2008 - I don’t have the final tallies, but im calling this a draw between Vinch and Smith.  Co-champions. Bob now leads with 2.5 Poker Championships to Pete’s 1.5 and Neil’s 1.

7.  Logistics - We all managed to be on the same flight from Charlotte to Myrtle and back. We had our first first-class ride to Myrtle and were able to avoid any trips back to the airport. 

6.  Caledonia - One of the nicest, if not the nicest, course we’ve played in MB2K history.  Not impossible to play (looking at you True Blue), in tip-top condition with beautiful scenery. We will definitely be coming back here.

5.  Sticky Fingaz - The “greatest audible in MB2K history” occurred as a Firehouse Subs trip was redirected mid-route to Sticky Fingaz. For the second straight year the official restaurant of MB2K, with two appearances. 

4.  Potential for MB2K9 - Ideas are thrown together and plans are discussed, but the potential for MB2K9 could be mindblowing.  First, possibly buying a condo instead of renting each year. I give this 3/1 odds, considering we would have to find a good deal(A-Jew, bless you), it would result in people having to make trips, and ultimately we all may be too lazy for this endeavor.  Someone suprise me.  Secondly, switching the trip around from a thurs-sun tourney to a sat-tues tourney with a sunday morning round in order to watch football all day sunday.  This has the makings of a MB2K tradition on our hands. Odds 1/1 - I don’t see why this can’t happen.

3.  Pic’s 77 and 79 - The best 2 rounds in MB2K8 and most likely the best 2 rounds in the history of MB2K - The 77 was outstanding to watch with a +1 back 9 and 8 pars, and retribution for the 81 (with 10) from last year. Pic’s game had us all spend hours reassessing the handicaps, (which coincidentally, worked out rather well).  Pic also crushed the tourney greens and pars records. 

2.  The Year of the Bob - We will never hear the end of this one, but you have to take your hat off to Bob for his summer dedication, consistent golf, and lack of meltdowns (except for 17-18).  His 93 in round 1 was his lowest MB2K score ever, and his unadjusted total of 392 his lowest overall score by 13 strokes.  For all of you who question the handicaps, Bob was the only player to improve his score from last yr by more than 3 strokes.  Congratulations Smith and F Bob.

1.  The golf - Ike stayed away, we got a little wet but nothing too bad.  We dealt with a few slow rounds and some heat, but all in all another solid showing for MB2K. We are getting old, and so we’ll make adjustments, but the 8th year was again a great success.

See ya next year.  Bitches.

Seeing as the strokes were pretty solid last year, and i think most players are playing at that same level this year, I’m going to leave them as is…we can tweek the first night there, over some firehouse subs and boones farm………….

Defending and lone MB2K 3-time champion Greg “No Job” Picarello - 0 strokes - The streak will most likely continue, as Pic may be doing some contracting work, but should have no full time job to speak of.  Pic has been hitting the ball quite well as of late (79 at Mountain View) and will be looking to become back to back champion.  3/1 odds on a repeat

2-time MB2K champion Neil “Allergic to Sand” Schoenberg - 0 strokes - Its been 4 years since Schoey won at Myrtle and has yet to break the 85 he shot at Mountain View last week down there.  Has been hitting driver decently most rounds and should be interesting to see if that results in a strong showing this year.  5/1

MB2K Champion Robert “9 holes” Smith III - 12 strokes - Bob has made a push for the championship this year with extra golf in the summer. It should be interesting to see if this pays off.  His recent string of sub 100’s (mid 80’s with strokes) would put him in contention this year.  5/1

MB2K Champion Raymond “Abraham producer” Grove - 7 strokes - With all thats going on for Grove this year, its been tough for him to get out on the course, and so consistency could be a factor in Myrtle.  But since this isnt a grover invatational at least a last place finish is very unlikely. 6/1

BPTHWAM Pete “FBI” Vinch - 12 strokes - Not sure if Pete has been golfing lately, but the best player to have never won at myrtle is now attending his 8th championship and looking for his first win. He was in position last year but couldnt come through in the final round.  13/2

Mike “Just for fun” Riba - 15 strokes - Riba is gracing us with his presence again this year and we’re all better people for it.  Last year his final round 102 was so close to breaking 100 so we are all pulling for a sub 100 round this year.  10/1

Here’s the courses we will be playing at MB2K8

Thursday - Arrowhead Country Club – Arrowhead has become the new Wizard with MB2K visiting here for the final round of MB2K6 and the 2^nd to last round of last years event.  MB2K6 saw an avg adjusted score of 90.3, while MB2K7 saw the average drop to 83.7. You know what that means – we’re all shooting 70’s this year sons!

Friday – True Blue – Don’t know much about True Blue. Not sure why a golf course would name itself after a Madonna song. Do you think Madonna had a Kaballa dream about A Rod 20 years ago and named a song after his lips? Strange world. Anyways, True Blue from the whites is 6375, so we’ll have our work cut out for us on day 2 after we shoot 70’s day 1. 

Saturday – Caledonia Golf and Fish Club – Bring your rod Smith (ghey), cause when you quit after 9 on round 3 this year, you won’t have the Stillerz, but you can get your fish on.  Caledonia is a top 100 USA course, as noted by Golf Digest. A par 70 with only 3 par 5’s, so scoring might be hard to come by. 

Sunday – The Legends, Moorland – Back in MB2K2, before the tour expansion of ot 6, we played the first of 3 Legends courses; the Moorland course. I don’t remember much about it, but I do know all the Legends courses are hilly, with big greens. So maybe someone’s putter will be the key to a final round MB2K8 Championship. 

Odds at the 25 day recap.  

 MB2K7 was “The Year of Pain”

 MB2K8 will be known as “The Year of Sponsitilities.”  (Responsibilities if you cant speak baby talk)…..

 Raymond Christopher Grover Cleveland - Our friend Ray will be welcoming the first offspring of the MB2K family later on this year, and is also in the process of setting up marriage plans.  Grove is the first MB2K player who has utterred the phrase which will be heard a million times over the course of our lives “I’m never going to get a chance to golf again.” Good thing its only a figure of speech…Grove is also moving back to the Burgh after a stint in Philly.  Good luck sir, Philly will miss you although im sure the feeling is not mutual (F Philly).

Greg Picarello - Greg is also engaged to be married, but more amazingly, Greg is employed. Some saps finally showed some pity on a young man with a college education and a masters and decided to hire Mr. Picarello for a small fee. Will the streak be broken? 100 days greg….100 days…..

Bob Smith the Third - Bob is in first place in 2 fantasy baseball leagues. 

Peter Vinch - Pete is ALSO engaged to be married.  He is also possibly getting promoted at his crazy gubment job.  He also shattered the under for conversations with his fiancee in AC that weekend…..

Neil Schoenberg - New job, new car, new condo…..I’m broke son, broke!

 Mike RIba - What is going on in the world of Riba? Wouldn’t we all like to know……..fill us in mike, fill us in.

- When it says its going to be 68, it probably won’t be 68, so it will be somewhat cold, but hot at some points too…now you know how grandma felt

- They won’t have much food/drink on the course, and definitely no cartgirls- so come prepared.

- Temporary Tees (sidehiles and heavier rough than in the rough apply).

- Swing changes - your perfect drive from 1-13 may go south by hole 14…

- Slow greens - muscle up nancies.

- Geese Shit - apparently, birds dont fly south for the winter anymore, because, there’s no seasons, because, the world is broke.

 Addendum #1

- There will be soreness - Muscles you havent used in months will wonder wtf you are doing to them…..

As people send me other ones or I scan in additional ones from Pete/Neil, they will be added, as well.

So, everyone should dig through all of their old shit and see what they can find.  Like Grove said, this stuff will be hilarious to look back on in the future!

Bitches.

The year after our first year of expansion resulted in
our most challenging golf tournament to date. Greg
Picarello, using the greatest 36 hole stretch in MB2K
history, took home his 3rd MB2K championship besting
Chris Grove by 5 strokes. The Career MB Standings are
as follows:

3 wins - Greg Picarello
2 wins - Neil Schoenberg
1 win - Bob Smith the III, Chris Grove
Best Player(s) to have never won a major - Peter
Vinch, Mike Riba

Final Scores will be posted on MB2K.com. However, for
our records, I believe they ended as:

Sixth Place - Mike Riba - 376
Fifth Place - Neil Schoenberg - 358
Fourth Place - Bob Smith the III - 356
Third Place - Peter Vinch - 350
Second Place - Chris Grove - 349
First Place - Greg Picarello - 344

Now onto the ramblings:

The top 10 quotes/sayings/objects of MB2K7:

Honorable Mention. Strictly Dickly (Party like a
Cockstar) - Bob and Grove enjoyed this just a little
bit too much.

10. 13-Foxtrot - Riba’s seat from Charlotte to MB got
the weekend going.

9. Shived - The fat ladies on the plane from Charlotte
to Philly, it would have taken a mighty big shiv.

8. Dr. Bob - The official soda of MB2K7, its like
watered down, year old Dr. Pepper and it only comes in
3-liter bottles.

7. The Blue Sausage - The worlds ugliest golf travel
bag.

6. Chen Net - We would like to thank Chen, for without
him, no internet access would have been had for MB2K7.
Chen - we salute thee.

5. The Gondola - Apparently in Myrtle Beach, a gondola
is not a “traditional venetian sculling boat”.  There
it is an “enclosed carraige used on a ski lift”.
Thanks wikipedia (disambiguation).

4. The I-Phone - Pic eats with it, sleeps with it,
golfs with it. It was always out, never left his side.
At least he’s getting his money’s worth. It’s fucking
sweet though - makes you wonder what Pic would buy if
he was actually employed. Dizammmm. (This customary
Greg-doesn’t-have-a-job crack was brought to you by
Monster.Com)

3. Doo Doo Smells Worse - Wouldnt be a MB2K without a
little Chappelle.  All those ribs and wings definitely
gave us the itis and a little doo doo smells worse.
Although i can’t imagine Bob’s shits smelling any
worse than they already do.  Wash your ass son. Wash.
Your. Ass.

2. Jimmy Legs - I’m still not sure what they are.
Apparently it’s when you shake your legs
uncontrollably. Wikipedia has a solid definition of
the disorder if you look it up and it even mentions
the Seinfeld episode Bob talked about.

1. Blicks - A man, a horse and a toad walked into a
bar. The bartender said to the horse, what are you
doing here with these 2 jail cells………

Sadly for the second straight year, there were few
females to discuss….However, here are the Top 5
girls of MB2K7:

5. The waitress at the karoake place formally known as
Broadway Louies - Pink Shirt, hot body.

4. The TPC Cartgirl - apparently Bob told her she
wasn’t getting a tip…and we wonder why our list
shrinks yearly.

3. The Milf at the MB Airport - hotter then the
daughter, check…f me boots, check…mini-skirt,
check…..i’m sure we’ll find her online at
somepoint…..Milfhunter.com anyone?

2. The Camera lady at TPC - apparently they never
taught her “centering” at Camera school..or she really
likes that bush next to grove…..

1. Bartender at the Wizard - suprise, suprise, Schoey
falls in love yet again…..

The Top 10 Most Disappointing Moments, Events, Things
of MB2K7:

HM. The US Air Pilot from Myrtle to Charlotte - He
flat out lied to us about the flight time. He said 30
minutes, it was 45-50 and it almost caused us to miss
our flight back to Philly. Shiv?

10. The Steelers loss to Denver on Sunday Night - 3
Steelers fans along with 2 bets on them. Only Pete
didnt suffer.

9. Bob’s comment to Riba at Outback - I believe it was
“Don’t be such a Fucking Vag”, and it was timed
perfectly with the appearance of our uptight, nervous
Outback server. I’m fairly certain she heard it. I’m
fairly certain it scarred her. 

8. Grove’s and Bob’s snoring - apparently Bob went to
Grove’s Snoring school this past year. The only time i
got sleep was when Bob had the Jimmy Legs. Grove on
the other hand, take your hat off for a legend (bah
dah dah dun dah - i’m loving it).

7. Riba vs the Sticky Fingaz Bartender - Not only did
he not ask Riba if he wanted another beer, he
continually asked everyone else if they did, and then
walked away. Shiv? 

6. Fuzzy Navel Boone’s Farm - Grove’s attempt to bring
a little class to MB2K7 ended up spilled all over the
fridge.

5. Waterway Hills - We already mentioned the
“gondola”. No showers. The sandwiches. The greens of
“medium speed”. We were the youngest people on the
course by about 20-25 years. I guess you can’t be
shocked when the golf course you play is next door to
Thee Dollhouse. We are never playing north of the 17
merger again.

4. Grove’s broken Pitching Wedge - A bad chip at TPC
resulted in a busted PW for Grove. Bob could have used
it at Waterway Hills for his shot when he was standing
in the gully.

3. Firehouse Subs - The shock of MB2K7 comes from a
perrenial Top Moments finalist of MB2K’s past.
Firehouse Subs wasn’t prepared for our entrance into
Myrtle, and it resulted in 6 medium meatball subs
because they didn’t have enough for larges. It was a
travesty. And the server with the tongue-ring,
seriously kid, WTF.  Shiv?

2. The bad golf moments - And for a great weekend of
golf there was a lot of them. Pic, Riba and Bob all
had 10’s.  Pic’s 44 putts at the wizard. Riba’s 126 at
TPC. Neil’s shots on the first holes at the Wizard and
Waterway Hills.

1. The year of pain - I’ve never seen so much advil,
aleve, medical tape, icy hot, bandaids. You would
think we were in our 60’s not our 30’s. Sigh, maybe we
did belong at Waterway Hills.  But we did play through
all the pain and finish all of our rounds, so there is
a silver lining.

and now - The top 10 moments of MB2K7:

HM.  The ease of the trip down - Its just known now.
You get to Charlotte and meet up at the Bar, fly to
Myrtle, get the cars, drive to the condo, unload, go
to bilo and firehouse subs, and relax. It only took us
7 years to make this work.

10. Bob’s first GIR in 73 tournament holes - Bob didnt
hit a green at the Grover Invitational in Tampa but
managed to hit the green on the 2nd hole of the
Wizard.

9. The Streak continues - Cal Ripken has games played.
Joe DiMaggio has games with a hit. Greg Picarello has
MB2K’s while unemployed.  Some streaks will never be
broken.  This might be one of them.

8. Pete’s Cigars - I think we decided on 8-10. Another
MB2K record. 

7. The Discovery Channel - Overtook ESPN as the
official channel of MB2K7. Highlights included the
Survivor Man’s tin foil blanket, and the marathon on
Last Man Standing where they kicked the wooden ball
with sandals made of tires (too bad we don’t know who
won.)

6. Poker 2007 - Bob Smith captured his 2nd MB2K poker
championship (first in 2005). Past champions include
Neil (2004) and Pete (2006).  Pete had the hand of the
weekend when he flopped a boat and bet, causing Neil
to go all in on his dead flush draw.

5. Misc. golf achievements - Bob’s putt for 99 at the
Wizard, Grove’s 85 at the Wizard, Pete’s front 9 43 at
Arrowhead, Neil’s 2 birdies in 4 holes at Waterway
Hills, Riba’s back 9 49 at Waterway Hills. 

4. Sticky Fingaz - The heir apparent to Firehouse
subs.  The box full of food for dinner Sunday night
was so good we went back for lunch on Monday.

3. Logjam at the top - Going into the final round, 5
players were within 4 shots of the lead, making it the
most competetive final round in the MB2K history. Just
to compare with other years, Pete’s third place score
of 350 would have won MB2K in any year except MB2K5,
and Neil’s 5th place score of 358 was the same score
he won with in MB2K2 and MB2K3. 

2. The golf - another full 4 rounds of golf with only
1 hole in the rain and 2 gourgeous sunny, non-humid
days…..and as always, its better than work.

sidenote: “The golf” has been #1 on the top 10 moments
of MB2K for 5 years…it has to take something pretty
good to push it back a slot……

1. Pic winning MB2K7 - The Sunday and Monday rounds
were arguably the best two rounds in MB2K history.
Personally, the Sunday round at Arrowhead was the best
round of golf I’ve ever seen.  81 with a 10. 13 pars.
Sick.  Monday with the championship on the line, Pic
shoots 79 and even par on the back 9, including back
to back birdies, for the victory. Pretty impressive
after 44 putts on friday and no pars on saturday.
Congrats Pic!

Til MB2K8………..

I’ve also finally added a link to Mr. Smith’s MB2K Website, as well!

Five more days until the greatest tournament on earth commences.

with a little more than 3 weeks remaining, i guess its
time to do some odds……grove and i put together
some opening strokes, but we can tweak them as need
be………..

Defending Champion Raymond “Chris” Grove - strokes 7 -
This late MB2K might actually hamper grove’s ability
to repeat…He was golfing a lot in august and early
september, but the next few weeks grove might not be
able to golf as much as he wants because of
work….we’ll see if the range will work on his quest
to repeat…….odds to repeat - 6/1

2 Time MB2K Champion and Grover Invitational Champion
Neil “Schoey” Schoenberg - strokes 0 - 3 rounds of 81
or less in his last 5, 2 near hole-in-ones…the
question remains….is he peaking too
soon???……..odds on a 4th championship - 5/2

2 Time MB2K Champion Gregory “Pic” Picarello - strokes
0 - Pic is playing the consistent golf that we have
come to expect over the last few years……he has
been waiting to play the wizard for the last 4 months,
so we would have to expect a solid showing, and
hopefully some broken golf stands (not mine
son!)……odds on a 3rd championship - 5/2

MB2K Champion Robert Smith “the III” - strokes 12 - I
think Bob kinda likes golf a little bit right
now….the goal of MB2K will be to see if he is more
interested in playing, or watching the steelers sunday
night……odds on a 2nd championship - 9/1

BPTHNWAM Peter “I’m on the phone” Vinch - strokes 12 -
Pete has taken over for Bob as the person who doesnt
golf before Myrtle….but wait…is this all a ploy to
get strokes….what if we get to myrtle and pete
shoots low 90’s……..could be the best move
ever….odds on a championship - 11/1

Micheal “the Walrus” Riba - strokes 14 - Riba has
officially recovered from his broken ankle which is
great news……Now we’ll see if the good golf can
follow……odds on a championship - 14/1