Robert Smith the III did not disappoint - After predicting victory all summer long, Bob overcame a 5 stroke deficit to the defending MB2K champion Greg Picarello entering the final round and eased his way to a 7 stroke victory. Bobs consistency over 4 rounds proved too strong for Pics two rounds in the 70’s, including an MB2K record 77 in the first round. The Career MB Standings are as follows:
3 wins - Greg Picarello
2 wins - Neil Schoenberg, Bob Smith the III
1 win - Chris Grove
Best Player(s) to have never won a major - Peter
Vinch, Mike Riba
Final Scores will be posted on MB2K.com. However, for our records, with handicap adjustments, I believe they ended as:
Sixth Place - Peter Vinch - 378
Fifth Place - Mike Riba - 374
Fourth Place - Chris Grove - 349
Third Place - Neil Schoenberg - 347
Second Place - Greg Picarello - 343
First Place - Robert Smith the III - 336
Now onto the ramblings:
The top 10 quotes/sayings/objects of MB2K8:
HM. The Final Countdown Card - Was introduced before MB2K8, but its involvement above the fridge was vital for when morale was down. Hopefully someone brought it home.
10. The Breakfast of Champions - 1 part Banana, 1 part Chocolate Donut, 1 part Starbucks Coffee, 1 part Tums
9. The Collision at the Collesium (OSU vs USC) - Another failed ploy by ESPN to make an early season college football game bigger then it needs to be.
8. Riba’s True Love - Outback….and his order doesn’t require a menu.
7. The Motivational Posters - Slavery (it gets shit done), Water balloon toss (its just that intense), Sometimes (you wanna just break the law), Courage (iron my shirt bitch) and Holy Shit (is that a grizzly bear)……..1 more to come…
6. The Pass - Grove’s car led home from Bilo, but was passed by Neil’s car on the inside at the entrance to the condo. Neil’s car +1.
6.B The Pass 2 - Neil’s car leads to the airport from Sticky Fingaz but goes the wrong way out of the parking lot, makes and illegal U and watches Grove’s car head towards the same light. As Neil’s car waits to make a left onto airport road, Grove’s car drives past, middle fingers and all. Grove’s car +1.
5. Hi Dave, I love your show - The official show of MB2K made another late night appearance, highlighted by all time favorites Black Bush, Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch and Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Story of Rick James (we gave him some help).
4. New Bilo staples - Cinnamon buns, beef jerky, pretzel sandwiches and of course, tums.
3. Bear Grylls Swolen Face - Allergic moron + hunger + honey + african bees + not wrapping your forehead with your shirt = X-files looking face
2. Mooseknuckle - Because camel toe has an ugly sister. And we saw it live at Outback.
1. Glass pong - The official game of MB2K8 - involved plastic wiffle golf balls and the hole in the patio table from the umbrella. 4 players take turns with 2 balls. Hours of fun for everyone. Riba was the first to 5, Neil was the first to double figures and Grove had the best run with 5 made in a 5 minute span.
The top girls of MB2K8:
5. The Woman on the Philly-Charlotte flight - Large, hairy and coughing up a lung to boot. We were all hoping to sit next to her.
4. The Par-3 ladies at Trueblue/Caledonia - A pair of knockouts (for George Burns)
3. The Cartgirls - Didn’t the cartgirls in Myrtle used to be girls, and not 30-40 yr old Myrtle Beach natives. Just because we are in our 30’s doesnt mean they all have to be also. ugh.
2. Our waitress at Outback - She paid more attention to the older guys at the other table, but at least she talked to us (even though she had to). The closest thing to a stripper we encountered.
1. The Cartgirl at the Legends - Riba talked to her about football for 10 minutes, and we didn’t buy anything from her. Very nice, cute girl. Sadly, this is the best it got in MB2K8.
The Top 10 Most Disappointing Moments, Events, Things of MB2K8:
HM. Riba Talking about Quitting - Don’t do it Riba!
10. Pic Puking - The 2nd puke in MB2K history, resulted from a mix of pizza and cigars. We are still awaiting the first MB2K puke resulting from drinking.
9. Neil’s 11 (10) - Par 4 13th at Caledonia - Tee shot to 1st bunker, to Waste Bunker, to 2nd bunker, over green to 3rd bunker, still in 3rd bunker, still in 3rd bunker, still in 3rd bunker, out of 3rd bunker, chip, missed putt. lame.
8. Grove’s PW’s - For the 2nd straight year, Grove snaps a club. PW’s throughout the world weep, and hope to not be purchased by a man named Raymond who is not Floyd (fuck him and his par 5’s).
7. True Blue - For all the great things we heard and read about this course, they all failed to say how ridiculously hard the course is. Add in a half hour wait, slow play, and extreme heat and humidity; the result is a bad experience.
6. Pete’s game - What happened Pete? 4 rounds higher than any rounds from the previous 2 yrs. Or is this all a plan to get more strokes for MB2K9? hmmmmmm. I’m onto you Vinch.
5. The Cockroaches - All over the patio. All over the front door. All over the walls. Grossness.
4. The Fridge - It froze everything we wanted to drink, and when we left it still held a case of beer and a case of water. Sloppyness.
3. The Bars - Booze, Girls, Shots, Strippers, Debauchery - MB2K8 had it all; every round was played with horrible hangovers on no sleep. Oh wait. That was bizzaro MB2K8. The Real MB2K featured one night of drinking and one night of half the guys going to the pool hall. Crazyness.
2. No Sunday Football Day - Football sunday is not meant to be spent travelling and watching segments of games on blurry bar tv’s. As I sit here typing this watching the eagles-dallas MNF game, I realize how much better it would be watching this in Myrtle.
1. The Stupid Airlines - Baggage Fees, $5 to change seats, cancelling flights, 5 hour layovers, losing golf bags, and redirecting flights; US Air annoyed all this yr.
and now - The top 10 moments of MB2K8:
HM. The Streak Continues (sort of) - Pics unemployment streak ran to 8, if you count him not having a full time job which he had to take vacation days to attend MB2K8 like the rest of us.
10. MB2K8 Shot of the Year - Grove’s shot at 18 at Caledonia - most of us lost balls at Caledonia. Grove’s drive went to the pinestraw 200ish out, and he hit a 5 wood over the water and poop to the green to save par. Runner-up - Pics chip in on 9 at Arrowhead for birdie which started his back-9 run.
9. Neil’s 84 - It took 8 yrs, but he finally broke 85 at the Legends Moorland Course. See what happens when you keep drives in play. 3rd lowest round of MB2K8.
8. Poker 2008 - I don’t have the final tallies, but im calling this a draw between Vinch and Smith. Co-champions. Bob now leads with 2.5 Poker Championships to Pete’s 1.5 and Neil’s 1.
7. Logistics - We all managed to be on the same flight from Charlotte to Myrtle and back. We had our first first-class ride to Myrtle and were able to avoid any trips back to the airport.
6. Caledonia - One of the nicest, if not the nicest, course we’ve played in MB2K history. Not impossible to play (looking at you True Blue), in tip-top condition with beautiful scenery. We will definitely be coming back here.
5. Sticky Fingaz - The “greatest audible in MB2K history” occurred as a Firehouse Subs trip was redirected mid-route to Sticky Fingaz. For the second straight year the official restaurant of MB2K, with two appearances.
4. Potential for MB2K9 - Ideas are thrown together and plans are discussed, but the potential for MB2K9 could be mindblowing. First, possibly buying a condo instead of renting each year. I give this 3/1 odds, considering we would have to find a good deal(A-Jew, bless you), it would result in people having to make trips, and ultimately we all may be too lazy for this endeavor. Someone suprise me. Secondly, switching the trip around from a thurs-sun tourney to a sat-tues tourney with a sunday morning round in order to watch football all day sunday. This has the makings of a MB2K tradition on our hands. Odds 1/1 - I don’t see why this can’t happen.
3. Pic’s 77 and 79 - The best 2 rounds in MB2K8 and most likely the best 2 rounds in the history of MB2K - The 77 was outstanding to watch with a +1 back 9 and 8 pars, and retribution for the 81 (with 10) from last year. Pic’s game had us all spend hours reassessing the handicaps, (which coincidentally, worked out rather well). Pic also crushed the tourney greens and pars records.
2. The Year of the Bob - We will never hear the end of this one, but you have to take your hat off to Bob for his summer dedication, consistent golf, and lack of meltdowns (except for 17-18). His 93 in round 1 was his lowest MB2K score ever, and his unadjusted total of 392 his lowest overall score by 13 strokes. For all of you who question the handicaps, Bob was the only player to improve his score from last yr by more than 3 strokes. Congratulations Smith and F Bob.
1. The golf - Ike stayed away, we got a little wet but nothing too bad. We dealt with a few slow rounds and some heat, but all in all another solid showing for MB2K. We are getting old, and so we’ll make adjustments, but the 8th year was again a great success.
See ya next year. Bitches.